There are only a handful of people I'm sure that can say they went to a funeral and a birth in the same day.

Emotional day to say the least.

A day like today causes an effect that fishbowls your mind into a dizzy causing nothing but a dazed outlook on life. Today was a confused emotional traumatizing experience. Not traumatizing necessarily in a bad way, but an overwhelming way.

To start the morning waking up the earliest I have in years, a one hour drive to my grandmothers to meet at the funeral home to progress to the church. From there I had experienced my first (and hopefully only, but you never know) catholic funeral service. Quite the elaborate ceremony, but a respectful one that made me smile in pride for my Grandfather. I had the pleasure of reading the first letter of John in front of the church, as I know he would have done the same for me. Emotion swept through me seeing the tears in my family's eyes. Particularly those of my grandmother, mother and uncles. "Be the rock" my sister had said to me, and a rock I remained. I had been thanked once by my uncle's wife Kitty for being so. Though it was hard to hold in a sorrowful sob I kept myself, and instead thought about the wonderful things my Grandfather had achieved in his lifetime. There was a lot I hadn't known about him until this incident unfortunately, I hadn't gotten the opportunity to really sit down and talk to him... or rather I had the opportunity but was never brave enough or patient enough to ask. My Grandfather was slowly but surely loosing all of his hearing, so a conversation with him seemed like a yelling match when really it was basic jargon of catching up since we had seen each other last. I regret not ever finding out the true person he was. I had always wanted to. However, I cannot go back and think of regret, but find out who he was through family... and through Grandma... who has the best memories of him still.

My grandmother herself was stronger than I had expected today, but still not her usual self. Grief overwhelmed her and she couldn't help but break down whenever memories and wonderful attributes were arisen that people would miss. She has to come home to an empty house, full of his clothes. I couldn't imagine how hard this is going to be for her for I know she will never be the same...

I love you Grandma, you will be strong, I know you'll come through.

I love you Grandpa, we will meet again.


To follow a sorrowful eventful morning progressed to an equally eventful night. Luckily, (or unluckily to her and her boyfriend) the baby had not yet been born. She started at 8am at the hospital. She had been induced. It was 4pm by the time we had finally arrived. She was 5cm dilated, epidermal injected, and water broke (on her own!). By 6pm things started to pick up quite quickly as the nurses and doctors put her in place, rubbed her tummy and checked charts continually. Her epidermal started to wear by this time and she was starting to feel a lot of pain. The whole process was quite short, like her last baby, only about 4 or 5 pushes. The head came easy, but the shoulders were a scare for the doctor. Stubborn baby. But he came out crying beautifully! This had been the first time I got to experience a birth, and it was beautiful. As awkward as it was to stare at my sisters.... ehem... whoo ha... It was an incredible thing to witness the birth of my new nephew Taygen. My sister had lost a lot of blood in the process. I felt horrible as she did. I hope she is feeling better and getting plenty of sleep as she will need it. I cannot wait to see him again tomorrow. He is beautiful, and has the most beautiful blue eyes. It was cool to see him react to light. As if you had been in a dead sleep and a bright light was turned on. That initial pain as you cannot open your eyes just yet was what he was experiencing. A pain of light, but he kept trying to open his eyes, each glance a little better than the first. Even with a shade I had provided was still too much. Once everything was settled in, my sister cleaned up, and nurses and doctors left the lights were turned down. It was then he felt comfortable enough to open his eyes and look around at the brand new world around him. Full of unfathomable unimaginable things that couldnt have come anything less than a wonderland to a baby whose black warm womb was all it knew.

Welcome to this world Taygen. You will be watched and taken care of.





The circle of life continues.